unclefather:

i’m scared of little kid because i was driving down my road and these kids were standing in the road and i asked them to move and the one kid looked at me and said “no. hit us” and i could tell he had nothing left to lose

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alicehopewalker:

magneito:

"feminism isn’t really about equality it’s a hate movemen-"

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does this mean that as a feminist i can, at will, rise into the air and fly away from idiots?

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rewet:

you-wish-you-had-this-url:

i guess the real question is how can you not like tesla

he thought women would eventually rule the world because we’re the dominant sex

he liked pigeons

he was a vegetarian 

he was a babe

he was shy

he hated edison 

he’s perfect 

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Yup, as long as you’re ok with that time he went bonkers and tried to build a death ray.

Are you serious the death ray was the best part

I’ll just leave this here

Important ^

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Actual conversation at a party last night

  • Random college kid:Dude are you a real punk or a fake punk?
  • Me:I, um. I-I don't care?
  • Kid:*turns to his friend* Dude he said he doesn't care that means he's a real punk hi I'm Doug nice to meet you
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carolxne:

wanna-be-buff:

carolxne:

the perfect tity is the titty that fits perfectly in ur hand and all titties are different sizes and all hands are different sizes so the tity that fits ur hand is ur tity soulmate

Is this the male equivalent to Cinderella and the glass slipper??  

fun fact! not everyone is heterosexual! or cisgendered!

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subwaywhore:

Poking holes in dad’s condoms so someone else can do the dishes

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queen-of-love-and-beauty:

"I don’t wear makeup so I don’t have to waste like an hour in front of the mirror every morning hahahaha"

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"open books not legs"

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"why have tequila shots when you can have tea?"

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"As always, late with Starbucks"

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"modest is hottest"

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"I’m not like those girls”

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kohwala:

lindsaylohoean:

WHY DOES YOUR NOSE RUN AND YOUR FEET SMELL WHERE’S THE LOGIC

#tweetlikeJaden

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